1. Even a Rice grad would tell you, y’all is the most effective word in the English dictionary.
2. Real margaritas do not come from store-bought mix and real queso does not contain Velveeta.
3. Regardless of whose team you’re on, you can appreciate the tailgating art form that is Sailgating and Boulevarding.
4. Marfa’s Prada store makes an epic backdrop for Instagrams (as proved by proud Texan, Beyonce). So do highway medians blooming with Bluebonnets.
5. Become friends with the sales associates at Neiman Marcus Last Call (only at Katy Mills, Grapevine, Brodie Oaks, San Marcos) and they’ll tip you off when new Celine, Manolos, Prada, and Chanel (at ridiculously low prices) hit the store floor.
6. Whole Foods has nothing on Central Market.
7. Cattle Baron’s Ball is the time to glitz-up your western attire and pile on your Texas-size jewels.
8. Blonde means platinum.
9. Getting a Tahoe for your 16th Birthday is just as good, if not better, than any luxury vehicle.
10. If you want to make new friends in the fourth largest city in the nation you get on a Rodeo Committee. There’s a waiting list for the wine one.
11. Getting into a top sorority at University of Texas starts with admittance into Hardin House.
12. The best kind of monogram is a Jon Hart one.
13. Heated debates revolve around Tex-Mex. The holy grail can be found at El Tiempo and The Original Ninfa’s on Navigation in Houston, Mi Cocina (and Javier’s and Mr Mesero) in Dallas, Joe T. Garcia’s in Fort Worth, and Matt’s El Rancho in Austin.
14. The sure-fire way to ensure you child’s roots run deep across the state is to send them away for a month every summer to Longhorn, Waldemar, Mystic, Olympia, or Stewart.
15. Lynn Wyatt is the grandest dame of Texas and THE world.
16. If you want the best barbecue, get in line at Franklin’s and The Salt Lick.
17. SXSW: When hipsters and nerds around the world converge in Austin to party.
18. The amount of wristbands you have at Houston’s Rodeo Cookoff signifies how connected you are within the oil and gas industry.
19. Regardless of where you stand politically, you can appreciate President George Bush Senior’s sock game.
20. There’s a ton of junk at Canton and Roundtop, but if you train your eye you’ll find treasure.
22. You go to NorthPark to shop and Cowboys Stadium for football, but you thank your lucky stars for Nancy Nasher and Gene Jones and their dedication to contemporary art.
23. When it comes to cowboy boots Lucchese is king.
24. Houston’s may be called in Hillstone elsewhere around the country, but it’s Houston’s. And that’s Houston not How-ston, New Yorkers.
27. If you’re thirsty, grab a Saint Arnold’s.
Editor’s Note: I could go on forever! I’ve only lived in Tyler, Houston, and Dallas, so y’all please leave your insider Texan favorites in the comments below.